Echoes of the disappearing voices.
With regular meditations and consistent focus, my Egoic personal voice still exists – much the same as a high majority of Humans have and are accustomed to perceiving – but the multitude of other voices that seemed separate from my identity and would be audible in a variety of ways, have in the most part, gone. There are still however some remnants of their existents, for ease at this time I have called them echoes as they are no longer present but rather memorial. The echoes are mainly phrases that most likely were repeating when the voices were presenting. With concentration I am able to quieten even the Egoic voice that remains for periods of time. My emotions are becoming easier to manage now that my mind is less crowded. and negative manifestations such as fear or paranoia are less frequent and far less severe.
The night recently that I felt most improvement, was when feeling physically exhausted and conversing with Dr Randall about how tiring the voices in my head were and how I no longer had the energy to move or converse – At that moment Dr Randall wisely mentioned that if I should use the tiredness that equated with me no longer talking outlaid and chanel that same tiredness in my mind to stop the inner-talking I might find relief. Dr Randall’s words relaxed and soothed me as the resonating understanding washed away the thoughts from my tired mind. Since then, I have had a new outlook on the voices, where before that night I had been mostly forcing the voices to silence in a struggle similar to tensing a muscle, the sense of silence now is equated closer to muscle-de-armouring – where healing and relaxing are accessed. Most Doctors, in previous years, would have told me that, my symptoms were of Schizophrenic origin, those same doctors would now attest to me being cured of such symptoms and diagnosis. A relief and a step in the correct direction!
Although progress is clearly being made, It is of great importance that this progress is continued with persistence and discipline! Having extinguished the Schizophrenic voices down to embers of echoes, these echoes must too be eliminated before the work of eliminating Egoic voice (Inner-Voice) is started. Love.
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